“My son is gone.”  It is a sentence that no parent every wants to speak.  It is an empty and unfinished but not surprisingly full, of anguish and pain.  It doesn’t finish there, but I’ll talk more about that later.  Right now I want to talk about my son Chase.

There will be a number of people here today who knew what a fine man Chase had grown to be, they may not be familiar with the battles and skirmishes he had along the way. There are some lessons in there, so I want to talk about that period of time.

There isn’t enough time in a service like this to give all the details of such a life as Chase had. His personal struggles with addictive substances and poor choices landed him in quite a few bad situations. His decisions and actions caused his mother and I untold amounts of grief and consternation.  We did the best we could to try to help him through those issues by helping him get counseling, rehabilitation, while applying tough love principles with God’s guidance.  It is one of the hardest things a parent can do, to actually send their child to jail, but no matter how much we loved him, we knew that is what he needed.

Chase’s story could have ended there, with a life that continued a downhill spiral into more pain, misery, and perhaps death.  But that isn’t what happened.  Chase’s life became a shining example of what everyone should aspire to be.  He came out of jail to a halfway house and lived in a structured environment.  He ‘graduated’ from that and briefly came to live with us as he looked for work.  Like his father before him, he met his wife at work. With his marriage to Tara, and the birth of their son Wesley, I saw a change that was undeniable.  It was my son finally grasping the concept of adulthood and responsibility because he now had a son.  His son was the ultimate spark that literally lit Chase’s fire for achievement and growth.

I couldn’t have been happier when Chase got a job in management with Chick-fil-A. The culture of the company, and the people that Chase’s operator had in the store would prove to be a wonderful influence.  Chase was very fond of John, and was learning to be a very effective team member and leader through John’s mentorship and learning from John’s example. I’m very certain that the environment there was helping polish Chase into a gem of a man.  Chase was the kind of teammate that everyone wants to have at their job.

Undoubtedly, when you look at all the photos of Chase and Wesley you can see the obvious love of a father for his son.  Wesley was the most important thing in Chase’s life, and he took great pains to be a loving and fair father. Chase worked hard at a job that he loved, with a team that he loved to be a great provider for Wesley. But there was no question that Wesley came first. There is no doubt that Chase was the kind of father, the kind of dad that every man wants to be.  Julie and I were very blessed that Chase was living with us for the last few months. We got to spend time with him, see his growth, and witness his tremendous love for Wesley.  God was gracious to us, in giving us that time together.

I wish that there was a lot more for me to write, but sadly for those of us here on earth, Chase was taken way too soon, and thus, his story cut short.

When I started this message, I started with the sentence, “My Son is gone.”  I told you that sentence was empty and unfinished, and at the same time full of pain and anguish.  I’m going to finish the sentence now, and it will go from emptiness to fullness, from unfinished to complete.  One day, when I have overcome the human frailty that currently fills me with grief, when God’s mercy and grace fully cover me, I will be filled with joy to say “My son is gone… to be with the Lord.”

Message from a Mother – The full testimony given at my son’s service. Turn to the Light and be blessed!

The Memorial Message August 31, 2017

Thank you, Bob and Rod and John. And thank all of you who are here to show us love and support during this hard time. Some of you may be wondering how in the world I, Chase’s mom, am able to stand here and speak to you with confidence and peace when my only son was taken from me less than a week ago.

I can answer that by saying that I have no doubt in my mind that God has been preparing me for this day ever since He first opened my eyes to His truth when Chase was 5 years old – the same age as his son Wesley is now.

On that day I truly came from darkness into the light, and since that time I have struggled to stay on the path of faith. It is said that God gives us the gift of desperation, and as much as that sounds like quite the oxymoron, it really is a valid description. It has only been in times of great despair that I have put down my own pride and self reliance and cried out to God for help. He took me to the end of myself more times than I can count, and every time he rescued me, another witness stone was placed in the foundation of my faith.

I am reminded of a Rich Mullins song from the 90’s called, “Where You Are”. I bet my Anna (Chase’s sister) will know the words as I read them to you. I’ll try not to sing them, but that is gonna be hard – Anna will sing them though…

Talkin’ Daniel in the den of the lions
Talkin’ Jonah in the belly of a whale
Talkin’ three Hebrew children
And they’re standing in a furnace, fiery furnace
But the fire didn’t burn them, and the lions didn’t bite
And the Lord reached down and you can be sure that
Everything turned out right
Oh you’ll meet the Lord in the furnace
A long time before you meet Him in the sky
And where you are ain’t where you wish that you was
Well your life ain’t easy and the road is rough
But where you are is where He promised to be
From the ends of the world to every point of need

Because of my many trials, I am now able to stand fast in confidence before you, knowing that the hosts of heaven are here with me to bear witness to the faithfulness of our Creator, whose name is YHVH (Yehovah), the great I AM. He created the heavens and the earth, all things seen and unseen, and nothing is beyond His wisdom and power.

It is the darkness that shouts the lie that somehow time is a creator. How can this be? Time is but a measure of decay, not creation. But time is also a healer, and that is because God uses it to bring us little by little, step by step, day by day into his unending, overflowing truth and light.

I am kept 93 million miles away from the sun not because My Father is keeping goodness from me – but because in it’s full presence, that power and light would destroy me! His holiness is death to me if I live in the foolish pride that I am somehow his equal – and yet how many times have I presumed to call him my servant!!

My friends, I urge you to look to the light of Gods only son, given to us not for judgement, but to rescue us from our deepest darkness. It is in the darkness that we stumble and trip and bump and bruise – ourselves and all those around us. It is in darkness where the very real and destroying monsters of fear and shame, guilt, worry and despair are able to kill our very souls. Is it not a living hell to be walking in fear each day without weapons or armor – and with countless terrors lurking around every corner?

I know that it is because I have lived there – and have even been so foolish as to willingly visit there even AFTER I came into the light. I was used to those monsters. They were familiar to me and I thought somehow I could tame them on my own. NOPE. In the darkness I saw them as cute and fun – harmless, really. But when the light of truth was put on them they were forced to reveal their true nature – I’m thinking of Indiana Jones and that beautiful -turned- deadly ark right now. I know you all can see it.

Close your eyes, *Marion!!! Don’t look!

And today, because I have been learning to live in light – I am able to see some things that are not visible by most. I can see now how God has woven everything in my life right up to this very day into the beautiful tapestry of the testimony I have been so blessed to share with you all.

Some will say what happened this past Saturday was a senseless tragedy in a godless universe. And some will believe that the devil just happened to win this time around.

But I know, and I pray that one day all of you here will know, that neither of those statements is the truth. Our Father is good – and he is patient with us, not wanting anyone to perish in the darkness, but to turn and come and live with him in his glorious light.

You know what ? Heaven is the Motel 7 – and as long as the earth and heavens exist, the light is going to be on for you – and there will always be a room ready.

My son is not lost to me – he has gone on ahead to glory. His passing was not a random act – it was a divine appointment. He had a reservation we knew nothing about. And I know I have one as well. I wish I could present my ticket right now, but I have a feeling I have more work to do first, darn it. But I know that my work will have an eternal purpose and so I am honored to stay.

At this time I would like to lead us all in the Lords Prayer. Any who would care to may stand and hold hands.. I will say a few words of introduction, and you all can join in after I begin with “Our Father”.

Who is the one who is fully able to bring us from our deepest darkness into his glorious light, to deliver us from the lies of this world into the truth of his kingdom, and to take us from the pains of death into eternal life with him?

It is none but YEHOVAH, who is…

Our Father…